Looking for a new church home is exhausting (partially because walking to most churches is 45 minute ordeal both ways). Being a fairly liturgical, progressive Baptist in Northeast Scotland is down right impossible. If you find yourself in this position, you might ask yourself, "Does the said church I'm visiting have/do the following?"
The initial list:
- do we sing with a hymnal or with a projector?
- is there a worship band? choir? organ?
- will I have to greet people at some point?
- how long is the service?
- is the sermon going to be something other than a dry exegesis?
The nitty-grittier stuff:
- What are your views on women in ministry?
- Arminian or Reformed?
- What are the sacraments and what function do the have in the day to day life of the church?
- Are you neo-reformed? Charismatic? Can you make me believe that you don't think your theology lends God to be the author of evil?
- Eschatology and soteriology
- What is hope? How is God present in my life?
- Explain theodicy.
I believe at the beginning of the project that the initial list would be the litmus test and I would choose from it. Having had a multitude of Baptist churches in Texas it wasn't very difficult to presume that most help the same core beliefs and the accidents were the "yay" or "nay"
But now I'm in a country where almost all of the churches are Anglican or Reformed and these matters of the nitty-gritty are coming to mean a much more. I'm not sure I can get on board at a church that rejects Arminius's Free Will in exchange with Calvin's Bended Will and Election. I don't believe that God is the author of evil, even in omission, so if your catechism is built on those shaky posits, we can talk- but you may not be family. If you don't believe that women should be in ministry you aren't going to want me at your church because I will fight tooth and nail against you.
And as I keep watching South Main every Sunday and being reminded that the church is your family, I'm becoming increasingly discouraged that there won't be a family here for me. Steve was amazing at helping me find some suggestions for Aberdeen, but the words they use in their liturgy, emphasizing the maleness of God, the lack of women on staff, the singular focus on growing the church attendance and not transforming those in the church or the community that they are in- it all just feels hollow. I feel like the Baptists have let me down.
Thankfully, South Main is very liturgical and ecumenical so the option that I won't be Baptist hasn't killed my heart too much. I miss the "extra" stuff that made me love South Main. I miss the family I had at South Main. But most of all, I miss the feeling that my theology could be difference from another's theology and we could still worship together because Baptists are non-creedal and we were, as Steve puts it, "stuck with each other." The strange thing isn't that the churches haven't been perfectly okay in their own right, but I don't think they realize that the jargon they use impacts those from outside their community in the different way. I miss knowing the jargon and I miss feeling that people wanted me to be part of their family and not just a seat filler.
Finding a church family is difficult. Sundays are the hardest because of this, I think, and I find myself at some point during the day crying because I'm homesick. I spend all week talking about very complex ideas related to God, and what I want almost more than anything is to find a family of God to talk to about anything.
#asyougostayclose #whatifwereallydidthat
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